Identity Triangle

Church Emerges

Mar 19

Written By KC Underground

Following Jesus in Identity

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BEST PRACTICES FOR USING THE IDENTITY TRIANGLE

Remember this symbol is designed to be three things:

A Picture to understand key ideas regarding disciple-making:
What does this tell me about being a disciple?
A Mirror to see our reflection in:
What does this tell me about myself?
A Window to look at all of life through:
What should I do about it?

We encourage you to read through the summaries five times before sharing it.
Journal on the picture, mirror, and window questions above before sharing this. The degree to which you engage this symbol personally, is the degree to which you will be able to lead others into engagement.
There are two versions included here: A four-minute summary and an extended summary.
We encourage you to draw and explain the four-minute summary out loud three times before sharing it with someone else.
When you share it with someone, draw the Identity Triangle on a napkin or sheet of paper. Leave that drawing with them.
Remember to read the situation and the spiritual interest of the person you are sharing this with. It may be wisest to just share the brief highlight. Or if the interest is there, use the extended version, making it conversational by using the discussion questions.
After you share it, encourage the person you’ve shared it with to share it with another spiritually curious or hungry friend or family member within the next few days. In so doing, you are training every disciple to be a disciple who can make disciples from day one. This builds in reproduction and multiplication as the norm for every disciple.

FOUR MINUTE SUMMARY

Who am I? What is my identity? Everyone struggles to answer these questions.

What are some common things on which people base their identity? Politics. Sexuality. Passions or Gifts. Careers or work. Roles and Relationships. It’s usually some combination of all of these. Most of us just pick some combination of 3-5 roles as the foundation for our core identity. For example, I could say, “My identity is comprised of my family roles: Spouse, Father, Son, and Brother, along with my work roles: Pastor and Teacher. I’m also passionate about the outdoors and music, so you could say I’m a hiker and musician.” (Customize this based on your current roles)

In each of these roles, we have this equation running that gives us our sense of worth within that role. Once people have a sense of what their roles are, their sense of value on a daily basis is based on the following equation.

Identity or Worth = My Performance X Other’s Opinions.

That’s how most people get their sense of identity and worth. How do I know who I am? What are my roles? Then how do I know if I have worth in those roles? Well, how well am I doing at this current role and what do other people think of me?

How well is this working for us? When we reflect on that, it’s easy to see how vulnerable this combination of roles, performance, and opinions leaves us. Most of us struggle with this constant sense of just not measuring up. On top of all that, many of our roles end up competing with each other, leaving us caught in a constant tension of robbing Peter to pay Paul. We end up running back and forth between our different roles, trying to please everyone, but feeling like we’re cheating everyone.

Wouldn’t you agree, we need something deeper than seasonal roles, our performance level and other people’s opinions in shaping our identity? If there was something with more permanence, that could last through a lifetime, would you want to know it? I sure would! How can we find a deeper identity that leads to a sense of peace and purpose?

Jesus came to reveal to us our deepest and truest Identity. As disciples, we follow Jesus in Identity. Jesus offers us an Identity in a Story where everyone can find their unique purpose, deep transformation, and a radical sense of belonging. The Identity Triangle is a simple way to explain the Identity to which Jesus is inviting us.

The Identity Triangle is built on this idea: If we know who God is, then we will know who we are.

We can only understand the question, “Who am I?” by asking first, “Who is God?” Look at the three aspects of God’s identity revealed to us by Jesus.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...” Matthew 28:19 (NIV)

Baptizing people into the name of is about establishing them into their new Trinitarian Identity. In Christ, God is our Father and we are His Family; Jesus is our King and we are His Servants; the Holy Spirit is our Guide and Sender and we are His Missionaries.

The Father is our Perfect Dad.

That means…

WE: The Family of God
Me: Beloved Child of Abba

If God is our Perfect Dad, then we now understand ourselves to be members of a royal family, the family of God, made up of former ragamuffins. We live as dedicated brothers and sisters, caring for, supporting, and challenging each other. Each of us is a beloved son or daughter of Abba, in whom the Father is pleased. He’s crazy about us.

Jesus is our Servant King.

That means…

We: Servants of the King
Me: Disciple of Jesus

If Jesus is our Servant King, we now understand ourselves to be servants of the King. Just like Jesus laid down his life for us, we will lay down our lives for others in service. Each us of is a disciple of Jesus. Being a disciple means following Jesus as Lord, doing whatever Jesus teaches us to do, whenever He tells us to do it and wherever He wants us to do it.

The Holy Spirit is our Sender and Guide.

That means...

We: Missionaries
Me: Temple of the Holy Spirit

If the Spirit is our Sender and Guide, then we now understand ourselves to be the Sent Ones, each of us a missionary filled with the Spirit. We will join God in his work of redeeming people and places through Jesus, starting where we live, work, study, and play.

From His identity foundation, our identity flows.

Our new identity in Jesus is not contingent on our changing roles, our performance or the opinions of others. This identity is built on an eternal foundation, based on what Jesus thinks of us, His finished work on the cross, and the unchanging character of God, revealed fully in the person of Jesus.

EXTENDED VERSION

Who am I? What is my identity? Everyone struggles to answer these questions. It’s impossible to live without a sense of identity. We all continually work out our answer to that question.

What are some common things that people base their identity on?

Politics, “I’m a conservative or I’m a liberal.” Sexuality, “I’m straight, I’m gay.” Passions or Gifts, “I’m a musician. I’m an athlete. I’m an underwater basket weaver.” Careers, “I am a teacher, I’m a business owner, I’m a CEO. I’m a pastor.” Roles, “I’m a parent, I’m a son or daughter, I’m a sibling.”

Most of us just pick some combination of 3-5 roles as the foundation for our core identity. For example, I could say, “My identity is comprised of my family roles: Spouse, Father, Son, and Brother, along with my work roles: Pastor and Teacher. I’m also passionate about the outdoors and music, so you could say I’m a hiker and musician.” (Customize this based on your current roles)

What are the roles you currently play? ( Write those out on the paper)

In each of these roles, we have this equation running in the background, like a computer program that gives us our sense of worth within that role. Once people have a sense of what their roles are, their sense of value on a daily basis is based on the following equation.

Identity or Worth = My Performance X Other’s Opinions.

Here’s the problem with this approach, this leads to a roller coaster experience. If I’m momentarily doing well with those roles, I feel great. But guess what? I’m not very far from messing one of those roles up, then I feel lousy. We end up using other people to try to find our worth, which is selfish. On top of that, most of these roles are seasonal, which leaves us vulnerable to what you could call Identity Theft. These roles either change or fade out over time. Sometimes, naturally and gradually, or in some cases, instantly and tragically. Either way, we’re left feeling like a victim of identity theft.

Share some personal examples.

I can tell you about my friend who took the role of successful sales manager for an entire region of the country. He was loved and adored by his team. In the all-out pursuit of that role, he ended up being an absentee father and husband. He lost those relationships. He lost the role of husband and father because he was pursing successful salesmen role. Identity theft

I can tell you about a college football player who confided in me, “I’m a cliché, man. Rock star athlete in high school. Full ride college scholarship to a Big Ten University. I get injured my sophomore year and I can’t play anymore. I was left asking, “Who am I now? Since I was a kid, I’ve known myself as a football player. Who am I when I can longer be a football player?” Identity theft.

I know a precious woman whose whole identity was wrapped up in the role of being a good mother and good daughter. Then, when the kids moved out and her mom died, all during the same season of life, she was left asking, “Who am I now?”

When we reflect on that, it’s easy to see how vulnerable this combination of roles, performance, and opinions leaves us. Most of us struggle with this constant sense of just not measuring up. On top of all that, many of our roles end up competing with each other, leaving us caught in a constant tension of robbing Peter to pay Paul. We end up running back and forth between our different roles, trying to please everyone, but feeling like we’re cheating everyone.

Jesus came to reveal to us our deepest and truest Identity. As disciples, we follow Jesus in Identity. Jesus offers us an Identity in a Story everyone can find their unique purpose, deep transformation, and a radical sense of belonging. The Identity Triangle is a simple way to explain the Identity to which Jesus is inviting us.

The Identity Triangle is built on this idea: If we know who God is, then we will know who we are.

The Author of Life created each of us with an identity. In the same way that our DNA comes from our biological parents, our spiritual identity comes from our Creator.

“So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27

We were created in the image of God. We bear His image, just like our physical appearance resembles that of our biological parents. When someone looks at a child, they see her father’s eyes, or her mother’s chin. If we are made in the image of God, our identity flows from His. We can only understand the question, “Who am I?” by asking first, “Who is God?”

Here’s the challenge: Our identity was marred by our own brokenness, which we’ve already explored. Like a plaster bust that falls from the fireplace mantle, our identity has been broken or damaged. Rather than finding our identity in the clear reflection of the Creator, we’ve been trying to find it in the warped mirrors of our roles, our performance, and other’s opinions. Many people spend their whole lives living out of this false self. It’s a tragedy and a misery.

But even though we are broken and damaged, that is not the end of the Story. Our Creator will not discard us, He still sees us as His masterpieces, in need of redemption and restoration. Jesus paid the price to buy us back through His life, death, and resurrection, so we can now experience a restoration process through His Spirit in us.

When our Identity is restored in Jesus, we are given a new identity, a new purpose and an important part in God’s Story. A restored sense of Identity, my true self, will transform my life and my relationships.

So, back to the original question: “Who am I?,”

We can only understand the question, “Who am I?” by asking first, “Who is God?” Look at the three aspects of God’s identity revealed to us by Jesus.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit...”
Matthew 28:19 (NIV)

Baptizing people into the name of is about establishing them into their new Trinitarian Identity. In Christ, God is our Father and we are His Family; Jesus is our Lord and we are His Servants; the Holy Spirit is our Guide and Sender and we are His Missionaries.

Let’s walk through God’s identity first. Who is God?

The Father is our Perfect Dad.

“But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Isaiah 64.8
“... you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’” Romans 8.15b

The word, Abba, in Jesus’ culture, was a particularly affectionate term for Father, the equivalent of Daddy, in our day. We’ve all experienced broken earthly Fathers, but Jesus reveals to us the God who is the perfect Dad.

Jesus is our Servant King.

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Mark 10.45

Unlike earthly Kings that lord over others and use servants as a means to their benefit, Jesus is the Servant King, who gives His life to benefit and elevate the lives of His servants. The ultimate symbol of this is His crucifixion.

The Holy Spirit is our Sender and Guide.

“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” John 14:26

When we trust Jesus as our Lord and King, the Spirit of God makes His home in us. In each day, He is our Guide in how to live and our Sender, awakening us to the mission of God that we can be a part of, Jesus’ plan to restore all things.

From His identity foundation, our identity flows.

In addition, there are both communal and personal aspects to our identity in Christ.

We: Family

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.”
2 Corinthians 6:18

Me: Beloved Child of Abba

“But to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God,”
John 1:12

If God is our Father, then we now understand ourselves to be members of a royal family, made up of former ragamuffins. We live as dedicated brothers and sisters, caring for, supporting, and challenging each other. We will love each other like the Father has loved us. Each of us is a beloved son or daughter of Abba, in whom the Father is pleased. He’s crazy about us.

We: Servants

“For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake.”
2 Corinthians 4:5

Me: Disciple of Jesus.

If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.
John 12:26
So Jesus said …, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
John 8:31-32

If Jesus is our Servant King, we now understand ourselves to be servants of the King. Just like Jesus laid down his life for us, we will lay down our lives for others in service. Jesus, being God, was willing to humble himself and serve us, even wash feet. We will do the same. Each us of is a disciple of Jesus. Being a disciple means following Jesus as Lord, doing whatever Jesus teaches us to do, whenever He tells us to do it and wherever He wants us to do it.

We: Missionaries

“Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.”’
John 20.21
But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”
Acts 1:8

Me: Temple of the Spirit

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;”
1 Corinthians 6:19

If the Spirit is our Sender and Guide, then we now understand ourselves to be Missionaries, each of us a temple of the Holy Spirit. We will respond to our unique missional impulse to go to those Jesus leads us to—to live among them, like He lived among us. We are sent by the Spirit to restore all things to God through Jesus Christ. We will join God in his work of redeeming people and places through Jesus, starting where we live, work, study, and play.

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

What are some of the typical sources people use to base their sense of identity on?
Why are those insufficient? How do they make us insecure and vulnerable?
Which of those sources of identity, apart from Jesus, do you find yourself tempted to live out of?
What is it about the identity Jesus gives you is better? Why is it the best identity for living?
What are the three names of god’s that Jesus revealed us in Matthew 28:19? What do each of them reveal to us about god’s character? How have you experienced that?
How and why is it that our identity in Christ gives us total security and worth?
How can you grow deeper into your identity in Christ?

The Identity Triangle is a picture, a mirror, and a window.

Picture to understand: what does the Identity Triangle show you about being a disciple of Jesus?
Mirror to reflect: what does the Identity Triangle show you about yourself?
Window to see: what should you do about what you seen in and through the Identity Triangle?