Spheres of Influence
Following Jesus in Relationship
BEST PRACTICES
Remember this symbol is designed to be three things:
A Picture to understand key ideas regarding disciple-making:
What does this tell me about being a disciple?A Mirror to see our reflection in:
What does this tell me about myself?A Window to look at all of life through:
What should I do about it?
We encourage you to read through the summaries five times before sharing it.
Journal on the picture, mirror, and window questions above before sharing this. The degree to which you engage this symbol personally, is the degree to which you will be able to lead others into engagement.
There are two versions included here: A four-minute summary and an extended summary.
We encourage you to draw and explain the four-minute summary out loud three times before sharing it with someone else.
When you share it with someone, draw the Spheres of Influence on a napkin or sheet of paper. Leave that drawing with them.
Remember to read the situation and the spiritual interest of the person you are sharing this with. It may be wisest to just share the brief highlight. Or if the interest is there, use the extended version, making it conversational by using the discussion questions.
After you share it, encourage the person you’ve shared it with to share it with another spiritually curious or hungry friend or family member within the next few days. In so doing, you are training every disciple to be a disciple who can make disciples from day one. This builds in reproduction and multiplication as the norm for every disciple.
A FOUR MINUTE SUMMARY
Introduction Move #1: What kind of life are you living?
Some of the key words that describe our life and our culture are “scattered, busy, surface and temporary.” We’ve compartmentalized the different contexts that we live in so much that we’re like the entertaining plate spinners, moving from one arena to the next, hoping we haven’t dropped anything sensitive or precious, or that we haven’t lost any relationships in the process. We’re attempting to navigate our work relationships with our friends, and our family relationships with our hobbies. In the end, we’re not really advancing anything. At best, we have just enough bandwidth to exist in each of these different contexts. At worst, we’re frustrated, burned out and exhausted.
When we look at the life of Jesus, we can see a better narrative. Jesus says in Matthew 11, “Are you tired, worn out, burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (The Message 11.28-30).
One of the unforced, rhythmic ways Jesus lived was in the integration of his relationship patterns. While Jesus dealt with tensions as every relationship does, we can see when reading the gospels that Jesus’ relational world is both deep and wide.
A careful reading of the gospels will demonstrate that Jesus interacted with different sized groups of people at different times, for different purposes and to different depths. You can call these different contexts that Jesus operated in Spheres of Influence or very simply relationships.
Introduction Move #2: We can follow Jesus in relationships.
As disciples of Jesus, we can follow Jesus in relationships by organizing our spheres of influence the way Jesus did. If we want to be intentional about investing in other people’s lives and making disciples, we have to be thoughtful and intentional about who we spend time with and how we spend that time. Jesus’ pattern answers all these deep human needs for community, flourishing, and legacy.
Relational Sphere #1: The Crowds (Public Space)
Let’s look at the different contexts where Jesus invested his time. The first is what we could call a public space or what the gospels call the crowds. In this space we gather with large numbers of people for a common purpose. It might be a weekend worship experience, a sporting event or a concert. In the public space, we may know a few people, but we don’t know everyone well. Jesus gave His time to the crowds, but certainly not His best time.
Relational Sphere #2: The 72 (Social Space)
That leads to the second context. We call this sphere of influence the social space. When the crowds dispersed, Jesus was most likely left with the 72. This was a group of people who are often around His ministry. The 72 would have been there for any event involving the crowds, perhaps even helping Jesus in some way. The 72 would have also been with Jesus for the parties and the weddings and the smaller gatherings He attended. This group of people existed as a large social community, and probably much like a large extended family. They were also trained for mission, to go and do the ministry they were watching Jesus do.
We also exist in social spaces. Social spaces are made up of 30-70 people. This is our tribe, people with whom we have a deeper sense of connection. These are people with whom you will share snapshots about your life. These snapshots may not be detailed, but they will be important. Here you have a different awareness of your belonging than you do with the crowds.
Relational Sphere #3: The 12 (Personal Space)
The next sphere of influence is the personal space. This would have been the 12 disciples. The disciples were there for every event involving the crowds. They would have also been present at every party and social gathering Jesus attended. The disciples would have gone out as a part of the 72 as well. Their invitation was more personal, however. The 12 were often present with Jesus at times when no one else was present. The disciples were part of Jesus’ everyday life. To point out the most obvious and significant difference, we know the names of the 12 disciples, whereas we reference the larger two spheres of influence categorically. In this sphere of influence, we share more openly and become more vulnerable. We open up to support one another and we also open up to challenge one another.
Relational Sphere #4: The 3 (Intimate Space)
The next level of influence we see in Jesus’ life is what we call the intimate space. Jesus had three friends who were
a part of the most intimate level. We hear more about Peter, James and John than we do about any of the other disciples. Once again, it’s important to see the integration of Jesus’ life. The three were a part of everything that involved the crowds, the 72 and the 12. Their experience was a deeper invitation. People within this relational sphere have earned the right to challenge you when they’re afraid something is not right with you. These friends or family are people you can be completely vulnerable and open with while being completely confident of the utmost confidentiality. The people in the intimate spaces of your life are people who have shared deep life experiences with you. These relationships come through time and cultivation and they last through ups and downs.
Relational Sphere #5: The 1 (Father Space)
The fifth space or the final sphere of influence is what we call the Father circle. We don’t influence others in this sphere and others don’t influence us. This is all about how we are shaped by our relationship with the Father. When we examine Jesus’ life, we can see that there was no other relationship that mattered more. Jesus made it a habit to get into solitude where He could be alone with His Father. It’s actually the time spent with the Father that we become aware of where we need to spend the rest of our time within the four other contexts.
This integrated life is a better narrative than the fragmented worldview that our culture tries to write for us. Following Jesus in relationship means we should seek a greater level of integration within our spheres of influence. When we do, we create time and space where we can be more available to invest our lives with those Jesus has given us the opportunity to bless.
The Circles Overlap
When we look at Jesus’ relational world, we see an overlap of the circles. The Father informed every decision Jesus made. The Father gets the most time and always remains at the center. The people who received more intentional direction and had more access to Jesus than anyone else get the next level of attention. We hear more about their stories and see their influence continue. Those three fit within the next sphere of influence, the twelve disciples, who also have great access to Jesus’ world and ministry. The three and the twelve make up part of the 72, one level out. They receive less of Jesus’ time, but still know him well enough to carry out the mission He sends them to accomplish. The crowds receive the least amount of time, but that environment becomes an invitation into deeper community life.
This integrated life is a better narrative than the fragmented worldview that our culture tries to write for us. If we pursue that lifestyle, we will live exhausted, without depth of relationship at any level, and most likely lacking a significant sense of personal belonging. Following Jesus in relationship means we should seek a greater level of integration within our spheres of influence. When we do, we create time and space where we can be more available to invest our lives with those Jesus has given us the opportunity to bless.
EXTENDED VERSION
Introduction Move #1: What kind of life are you living?
What are some key words that describe life in our culture? Scattered? Busy? Surface? Temporary?
Most of us live very scattered lives. We’ve compartmentalized the different contexts that we live in so much that we’re like the entertaining plate spinners, moving from one arena to the next, hoping we haven’t dropped anything sensitive or precious, or that we haven’t lost any relationships in the process. We’re attempting to navigate our work relationships with our friends, and our family relationships with our hobbies. In the end, we’re not really advancing anything. At best, we have just enough bandwidth to exist in each of these different contexts. At worst, we’re frustrated, burned out and exhausted.
Jesus’ words always write a better narrative. He says in Matthew 11, “Are you tired, worn out, burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (The Message 11.28-30).
One of the unforced, rhythmic ways Jesus lived was in the integration of his relationship patterns. While Jesus dealt with tensions as every relationship does, we can see when reading the gospels that Jesus’ relational world is both deep and wide. We can learn these ways. We can learn to live freely and lightly just as Jesus invites us.
Introduction Move #2: We can follow Jesus in relationships.
When we examine Jesus relational world, a sociological pattern emerges. We believe it’s sacred. A careful reading of the gospels will demonstrate that Jesus interacted with different sized groups of people at different times, for different purposes and to different depths. You can call these different contexts that Jesus operated in Spheres of Influence or very simply relationships. (Write Relationships at the top of the page.)
As disciples of Jesus, we can follow Jesus in relationships by organizing our spheres of influence the way Jesus did. Why? Jesus is the master at the art of living. His pattern will lead to health and flourishing in our relationships and in our souls. The further we are from this pattern, the more scattered and superficial our relationships will be. Consequently, the emptier our souls will feel, longing for community. Finally, the impact of our life will be diminished. If we want to be intentional about investing in other people’s lives and making disciples, we have to be thoughtful and intentional about who we spend time with and how we spend that time. Jesus’ pattern answers all these deep human needs for community, flourishing, and legacy.
Jesus interacted with others in five different spaces. Actually, we all can or do interact in these five different contexts. Let me highlight all five first:
We find a sense of belonging, purpose, connection, community or meaning to varying degrees depending on the context. While we need all these relational spheres, we can see even from Jesus’ life that we do not have to spend our time equally in each space. However, we do need to regularly examine the amount of time we give to any one space.
Relational Sphere #1: The Crowds (Public Space)
Let’s look at the different contexts where Jesus invested his time. The first is what we could call a public space or what the gospels call the crowds. (Draw the largest circle and write crowds near the top.) When we read the gospels, we might see a passage like Matthew 8.1 that says, “When Jesus came down from the mountain, large crowds followed him.” There are actually 34 references to the crowds in the gospels.
In this space we gather with large numbers of people for a common purpose. It might be a weekend worship experience, a sporting event or a concert. In the public space, we may know a few people, but we don’t know everyone well. And, it’s not the environment for getting to know everyone well. In this context we’re gathering primarily for some level of inspiration and sense of belonging to something greater than ourselves. (Insert question: What crowds do you belong to? How much time do you spend in that context?)
Since we’re examining the relational world of Jesus, we have to ask how Jesus interacted with the crowds. When we read the gospels, we can see that Jesus gave His time to the crowds, but certainly not His best time. He taught them and He fed them. He also often made comments that were difficult to hear and obey. In those instances, the crowds dispersed.
Relational Sphere #2: The 72 (Social Space)
That leads to the second context. We call this sphere of influence the social space. (Draw a circle inside of the crowds and label it 72 or Social Space.) When the crowds dispersed, Jesus was most likely left with the 72. This was a group of people who are often around His ministry. The 72 would have been there for any event involving the crowds, perhaps even helping Jesus in some way. The 72 would have also been with Jesus for the parties and the weddings and the smaller gatherings He attended. This group of people existed as a large social community, and probably much like a large extended family. They were also trained for mission, to go and do the ministry they were watching Jesus do.
References to the 72 are not extensive in the gospel, but we know they are an important group of people. What we read in Luke 10 is that Jesus sent them out ahead of him to the towns and villages in order to heal the sick and to proclaim the kingdom. In that passage it also says they returned with joy because “even the demons obeyed them.” When we between the lines we can see that these people were around Jesus enough that they felt confident to obey the commands Jesus was giving them. They were prepared.
We also exist in social spaces. Social spaces are made up of 30-70 people. This is our tribe, people with whom we have a deeper sense of connection. These are people with whom you will share snapshots about your life. These snapshots may not be detailed, but they will be important. Here you have a different awareness of your belonging than you do with the crowds. These are people who are involved in your parties, and people who share similar values or mission with you. (Insert question: Can you think of what this looks like in your life right now? Are you involved in a softball league that tailgates before the weekend event? Are you in a cycling club?)
Relational Sphere #3: The 12 (Personal Space)
The next sphere of influence is the personal space. (Draw a circle inside of the social space and label it 12 or Personal Space.) This would have been the 12 disciples. The disciples were there for every event involving the crowds. They would have also been present at every party and social gathering Jesus attended. The disciples would have gone out as a part of the 72 as well. Their invitation was more personal, however. The 12 were often present with Jesus at times when no one else was present. We see them in the boat with Jesus going across the sea, in the upper room for the ever-important Passover meal and in the garden before his execution. The disciples were part of Jesus’ everyday life. This group would have seen the ins and outs of Jesus’ three-year ministry to which the 72 and crowds would not have had access. To point out the most obvious and significant difference, we know the names of the 12 disciples, whereas we reference the larger two spheres of influence categorically.
The 12 are actively involved in ministry in unique ways, receiving direct training from Jesus. In Luke 9 we see that they were “called together… and given authority.” In Mark 9, Jesus calls them to Himself to teach them about serving. In Mark 10 he pulls the disciples aside to explain what is happening. Jesus uses parables that often confuse the crowd, but with the disciples, he slows down to explain, teach and empower.
Again, we find a sense of belonging in personal spaces. In this sphere of influence, we share more openly and become more vulnerable. We open up to support one another and we also open up to challenge one another. In the personal space you can more fully live out the “one anothers” that we find in the New Testament like, “Love one another, serve one another, bear one another’s burdens, pray for and encourage one another.” (Insert question: Where do you see yourself involved in personal spaces? Who are belong in your sphere of influence at this level? Can you name them and know personal information about their life?)
Relational Sphere #4: The 3 (Intimate Space)
The next level of influence we see in Jesus’ life is what we call the intimate space. (Draw a circle inside of the personal space and write the number 3 or Personal Space). You can see how with each movement inward the circles get smaller and tighter. Jesus had three friends who were a part of the most intimate level. We hear more about Peter, James and John than we do about any of the other disciples. Once again, it’s important to see the integration of Jesus’ life. The three were a part of everything that involved the crowds, the 72 and the 12. Their experience was a deeper invitation.
We witness their presence at the Transfiguration that we find in Matthew 17. Jesus did not invite the 12 to this special experience. Only Peter, James and John are
allowed to be present. Jesus also invites Peter, James and John to go deeper into the garden to pray on the night before He is crucified. The mother of James and John, assuming Jesus was going to rule in a traditional context, asks Jesus if her sons can sit in places of power, at His right and left. Jesus renames Peter and has a tender moment of reconciliation with Peter on the beach after Jesus’ resurrection.
Most people are aware of who belongs within this sphere of influence, who their closest friends are with whom they share all the details about the mundane, everyday stuff of life. Again, these are also the people we call first to celebrate milestones or significant events. These are the people we call in tragedy as well. People within this relational sphere have earned the right to challenge you when they’re afraid something is not right with you. These friends or family are people you can be completely vulnerable and open with while being completely confident of the utmost confidentiality. We also do not have a great fear of rejection with these people.
These are not relationships that you can orchestrate. The people in the intimate spaces of your life are people who have shared deep life experiences with you. These relationships come through time and cultivation and they last through ups and downs. (Insert question: Do you have a few really close friends like this with whom you share everything about your life?)
Relational Sphere #5: The 1 (Father Space)
The fifth space or the final sphere of influence is what we call the Father circle. (Draw the final circle and write Father inside.) We don’t influence others in this sphere and others don’t influence us. This is all about how we are shaped by our relationship with the Father. When we examine Jesus’ life, we can see that there was no other relationship that mattered more. Jesus made it a habit to get into solitude where He could be alone with His Father.
When Jesus does this, He is taking time to remember and ground His identity as a beloved child. He’s listening for the voice and direction of the Father. Jesus says things like, “I can only do what I see my Father doing, and I can only say what my Father has given me to say.” How does He know what God is doing and saying? Jesus spent significant time with His Father.
Whenever it feels like we are out of control, or that we’re losing our footing on who we are, experience unbelief of any kind, that should be an identifying marker that we need to spend more time with our Father. If we do not have our identity rooted in the Father, it will take root in something else. Our narrative will be incorrect. Our security will be unstable. It’s actually the time spent with the Father that we become aware of where we need to spend the rest of our time within the four other contexts. (Insert question: Do you spend significant time with the Father as Jesus did? Is this a priority in your life?)
The Circles Overlap
When we look at Jesus’ relational world, we see an overlap of the circles. The Father informed every decision Jesus made. The Father gets the most time and always remains at the center. The people who received more intentional direction and had more access to Jesus than anyone else get the next level of attention. We hear more about their stories and see their influence continue. Those three fit within the next sphere of influence, the twelve disciples, who also have great access to Jesus’ world and ministry. The three and the twelve make up part of the 72, one level out. They receive less of Jesus’ time, but still know him well enough to carry out the mission He sends them to accomplish. The crowds receive the least amount of time, but that environment becomes an invitation into deeper community life.
This integrated life is a better narrative than the fragmented worldview that our culture tries to write for us. If we pursue that lifestyle, we will live exhausted, without depth of relationship at any level, and most likely lacking a significant sense of personal belonging. Following Jesus in relationship means we should seek a greater level of integration within our spheres of influence. When we do, we create time and space where we can be more available to invest our lives with those Jesus has given us the opportunity to bless.
ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS
We all need all five relational spaces.
We need to live and relate in each “relational space” because each is conducive for nourishing a certain aspect of what it is to be a disciple, even a human being. We’ll experience the full flourishing effect of community when each social space is a normative part of our relational world. We must decide to follow Jesus into ALL these relational spaces. No one else can build these relational spaces for us. Each relational space has it’s own distinctive values as noted above.
The more we can overlap the circles, the better.
The more we can overlap the circles, the more cohesive and powerful our experience of community will be. If we try to develop our personal social space (12) in one relational network and our social space (72) in another, we’ll easily find our relational world stretched too thin. The more our 3, 12, and 72 overlap, the more we’ll find we are actually doing life together like the early church.
Intentionally develop diversity in your relational world.
Within the four relational spaces, Jesus had connections with people at all levels of spiritual interest, various world-views and lifestyles. He invited everyone to come in and experience life within the Kingdom. Even within his 12, Jesus had a surprising range of people, from tax collectors to fisherman to political zealots. It was more curry, a mixture of spices, than plain vanilla. He invited people to belong, long before they believed the same things as him. Anyone whose following Jesus will do the same, developing the same kind of diversity within the full range of relational spaces.
The closer to the center, the more important it is to have shared mission and values.
Simultaneously, the closer people moved toward the center circles of Jesus world, you’ll find they shared an increasing alignment to His mission and values. Jesus was selective, particularly about the 12 and 3. The 12 and the 3 demonstrated shared mission and values through their willingness to drop everything and learn the way of Jesus. Like us, they were a jumble of beliefs, ideas, personal histories, and bad habits, but they knowingly pointed their feet toward Jesus and intentionally followed Him in all of life. As we develop our personal and intimate relationships, issues like shared values, shared mission, confidentiality, communication, trust, and expectations become increasingly important to clarify.
Where to begin?
Begin by taking a snapshot of your current relational world. Start where God has placed you. Be intentional. Be open. Be patient. Developing this kind of intentional community doesn’t happen overnight. Quite simply, in our culture, this is one of the greatest challenges that face us, and it is a lifelong process. Make it your aim, starting with prayer, to move toward all these relational spaces.
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Currently, how integrated is your life? Are your spheres of influence overlapping or fragmented?
What are your spheres of influence?
Are you over-committed? If so, what would it take to make a change?
What does the public space look like for you? Where are you gathering with crowds and for what purpose? Does it bring great joy or stress?
What does your social space look like? Who is your tribe? What level of relationship are you experiencing at this level?
What does your personal space look like? Are you regularly gathering with 10-12 close friends? Do you have a clear level of influence in these relationships? Do you share common interests or mission?
What does your intimate space look like? Are you regularly discipling 1-3 other people? Do you share common values that guide these relationships?
How is your personal communion with the Father?
How and to what degree is your relationship with the Father informing your other relationships?
Diversity: How well does your relational world reflect the diversity we see in Jesus’ relational world? Write down the names folks you have genuine relationship with that are different from you in terms of beliefs, socio-economic status, ethnicity, lifestyle, etc.
Share Values and Mission: To what level do those in your “inner circles” share with you the values and mission of Jesus?
KEY SCRIPTURES
Crowds (Public Space)
Luke 14:25 Now large crowds were going along with him; and he turned and said to them,
Mark 10:1 Getting up, he went from there to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan; crowds gathered around him again, and, according to his custom, he once more began to teach them.
Matthew 8:1 When Jesus came down from the mountain, large crowds followed him.
Mark 5:21 When Jesus had crossed over again in the boat to the other side, a large crowd gathered around him; and so, he stayed by the seashore.
72 (Social Space)
Luke 10:1-24
12 (Personal Space)
Matthew 5.1-2 Jesus saw the crowds. So he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him. 2 Then he began to teach them.
Matthew 10.1-4 Jesus calls the 12.
John 13.1-17.26 Account of the Last Supper
3 (Intimate Space)
Mt 17:1 After six days Jesus took with him Peter, James and John the brother of James, and led them up a high mountain by themselves.
Mk 5:37 He did not let anyone follow him except Peter, James and John the brother of James.
Mk 14:33 He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled.
1 (Father Space)
Jn 10:30 I and the Father are one.
Jn 5:19 Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.
Discovery Bible Studies
Matthew 11:25-30
Acts 2:42-47
Luke 10:1-4
Matthew 10:1-4
John 13:1-17
Matthew 17:1-8
Mark 5:35-43
John 15:1-8
Mark 1:25-39
1 John 3:1-2
*Spheres of Influence has been adapted from Launching Missional Communities: A Field Guide, Alex Absalom, Mike Breen, 3DM 1ST edition (2010). It has also been informed by the work of anthropologist Edward T. Hall and Joseph Myers in The Search to Belong (Zondervan, 2003).