Fruit to Root

If we’re going to pass on to the next generation an understanding of disciple-making that is integrated into everyday life, we need to give them language that will cultivate this way of life. We can also give them tools that will be helpful in their formation.

One of the tools we have found helpful in disciple-making in the Kansas City Underground was developed by Jeff Vanderstelt and can be found in Gospel Fluency: Speaking the Truths of Jesus into the Everyday Stuff of Life. This isn’t just for adults. Kids can learn this as well.

Let’s do a little context work to show you how one microchurch family taught this tool within a gathering. You can do this in your gathering, around the dinner table, or one-on-one with your kids.

We had been teaching a framework for our kids to help them (and us) understand what Jesus called us to do, and then how we can live out what Jesus called us to do.

For several weeks we started off our time with this phrase: Jesus called us to…and then everyone would say together, “disciples.”

Then we would say, “To make a disciple, you have to…” and everyone would say together, “be a disciple.”

Then we would ask, “How do we become disciples?” Then we would all say together, “Be with Jesus. Be like Jesus, and do as Jesus did.”

Then we would ask, “Who did Jesus send us to help us be disciples?” Then we would give the answer, “Holy Spirit.”

Then we would ask, “What does Holy Spirit help us do?” Then we would answer, “Grow in character and calling, or the Fruit of The Spirit and The Gifts of the Spirit.”

Then we would ask, “What is the fruit of the Spirit? Then we would answer, “Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

This call and response liturgy helps solidify some central truths we want our kids (and us) to know and live from.

To get into the tool of fruit to root, we asked the question, “Do we always demonstrate the Fruit of the Spirit? We all agreed no. Then we took a morning gathering to learn the Fruit to Root tool together. Here’s how that went.

Step one: Print out the Fruit to Root Tree or draw it. (The youngest in the group can color this picture if they cannot engage the conversation. But don’t underestimate their ability to share.)

Step two: Say something like, “The Spirit produces good fruit in us. But we don’t always produce good fruit, do we? It’s not the fruit’s fault, however. Fruit is a product of the root. If our roots are healthy, then our fruit will be healthy. If our fruit is not healthy, we need to find out what is wrong at the roots. We’re going to spend some time learning how to make sure our roots are healthy.

Step three: Say something like, “If we know that the fruit of the Spirit is love, peace, patience, kindness, and things like that, what words might describe unhealthy fruit that we sometimes exhibit?” (You might come up with something like “selfishness, being unkind, or impatient.) Write those on your tree.

If you’re stuck here, just say something like, “Think of words that are opposite of the Fruit of the Spirit.” Don’t rush this time. Let it be a discovery process. If some of the words feel “too big” for younger children, take some time to help them understand what the words mean.

Step four: Say something like, “That doesn’t look like the fruit of the Spirit we discussed earlier, does it? But sometimes that is the fruit of our life. It’s not who we are, but it is how we act sometimes. We need to get down to the roots to understand why we acted this way. Did you know that what we believe deep down affects how we act?”

Step five: Say something like, “So let’s ask a few questions that will help us get to the roots. Let’s pick the word selfish as an example to work through. If we are selfish, we need to ask the question, ‘Who am I?’ (This will take some explaining, but we had seven and eight-year-olds who were engaging in this conversation.) What we mean by that is, what do I really believe about myself if I’m being selfish?

We helped our kids at this point with ideas like, “I’m only focused on my needs. I think I have to have everything. I think the things I don’t want to share will provide some sort of happiness for me. I think that more ‘things’ will satisfy me.”

Step six: Say something like, “Here’s another question. If I’m being selfish, what does it really tell me about what I think God has done?”

We helped our kids at this point with ideas like, “He has withheld something from me. I don’t actually think God can always provide more. I don’t think he knows what I need. I don’t think God will give me good things or fully satisfy me.”

Step seven: Say something like, “Here’s our third question. If we believe God can’t or won’t do those things, what does that tell us about who we think God is?”

We helped our kids say something like, “He is uncaring. He is distant. He’s poor. He’s stingy. He’s not actually good.”

Step eight: We paused here to ask how we felt about what we wrote. Everyone agreed that we didn’t feel good. We didn’t like to say that we felt those things. We were sad. We took some time to explain that these are actually the beliefs we have that produce our actions. We also said, “We can’t just try to stop being selfish. We have to ask Holy Spirit to help us change our beliefs. When our heart is transformed, or thinking will change and then our actions will change.

We explained that this turning from unbelief to belief is a good understanding of what repentance really is. Repentance is not just saying, “I’m sorry.” Repentance is a changing our thinking and going in a new direction.

Step nine: We explained that we needed to go back up the right side of the tree because we did not feel good about what we wrote on the left side of the tree. So we said, “Let’s answer the questions again with what we really believe.

Step ten: We asked again, “Who is God?”

Now, our kids were confident to say, “God is loving. God is generous. God always knows my needs.” We also helped them say things like, “God satisfies all my longings. God is eternal and will be here when all the other things fade away. God is the source of every good gift.”

Step eleven: Then we said, “If we know who God is, what have we seen God do that would prove who God is, what has he done?

Our kids were confident to say things like, “He provided a home. He gave us food and water. And, of course, we all shared that God gave His only son. He is so generous to us. He doesn’t hold anything back from us.”

Step twelve: We asked, “If God is generous, and we can see that in what he does, who am I really?

We all remembered together that we are His children. We reminded the kids that we reflect His image. We carry His identity, so we can demonstrate that with our lives.

We ended with this question, “How do you feel now?” We agreed that we felt much better as we considered this good news.

Final notes:

This entire process took about thirty minutes and for the most part, everyone stayed engaged all the way through. This isn’t a tool you have to engage every time you see unhealthy fruit, but it is something you can routinely return to as you consider disciple-making with your kids. After using the tool a few times, you might see that you do not need to see it in front of you each time you need to process together. It can become part of your family rhythms.

Also, as you move back up the tree toward healthy fruit, consider shifting language to communal words like we and our. Whether you’re a family of 10 or a single parent with one child, communal language provides a stronger foundation for identity.

Finally, note that sometimes you will need to spend one-on-one time with another person or your children working through this process. Sometimes, however, we need to more voices. When conflict arises between children, or it is a recurring conflict, bringing in more family voices might be helpful as we consider the question and concepts. Added voices bring more angles to the conversation to get to the heart of what is happening.

 For more learning on the Fruit to Root tool, consider working through the video and tool found here at the KC Underground toolkit.