Family Sabbath Practices
I don't know about you, but when 3 pm (or 5 pm) on Friday hits, that end-of-the-week moment, do you ever feel exhausted? And maybe, just maybe, on occasion, do you ever feel the dread of a really full weekend on top of that already tiring work week because of kids' sports, prior commitments, parties, housework, and whatever else you are attempting to tackle?
Life as a family with a child, or two or more, can feel like a fast-paced whirlwind of constant motion. Some of that might be inevitable and something to keep taking in stride, but there is a very important weekly rhythm that God's people have lovingly invited us into that has the power to begin changing us and our discipleship with our kids.
The practice of Sabbath.
And yes, it is found in God's top 10! As ancient as it is, in our fast-paced culture, I think it's that much MORE important and impactful in the way we engage God, our own discipleship, and actively disciple our kids as apprentices of Jesus.
We were all created to flourish when we follow God's design of working six days and resting a seventh. Sabbath has honestly been one of the most life-giving disciplines for our family, and it has been shaping our children in some special ways.
So here are a few Sabbath practices that have meant a lot to our family over the years
Begin with a meal, a couple of candles, and a prayer
Every Friday evening, sometime between 5 and 6, we begin our Sabbath together with a delicious mac-and-cheese dinner (our kids' favorite), two candles on our table to remind us to "observe" and "remember Sabbath," a prayer, and some meaningful conversation. I'm still surprised at how quickly dimming other lights in the house and lighting candles shifts the atmosphere and increases connection. Sometimes we remind them of the meaning of Sabbath and the reasons for the command (given in Exodus 20 and Deuteronomy 5), and sometimes we don't. Sometimes, we ask a gratitude question of sorts or a highlight from the week, and sometimes we don't. Sometimes, the kids are crazy, and the meal is chaotic, and other times, it feels like the most peaceful meal of the week. Regardless, as we engage it week after week, it becomes a gift that is formative...ask any of my kids, "Are you looking forward to Sabbath?" and the answer is a resounding YES with huge smiles!
Leisurely family stroll or play at the park
As we sleep in on Saturday mornings, eat a great breakfast, and slowly ease into our day, we often create space for a family walk or a picnic and play at a local park. Sometimes it will be during lunch, and sometimes it will happen in the late afternoon at dusk. We do our best not to rush out the door or put a lot of pressure on what that looks like. If it's too hot or too cold, we may not go out. For our family, it gives us relational space to connect and play together.
Naps
Yes...we take naps...the parents, that is! When our kids were younger, we'd do everything we could to try and get all of us to nap at the same time. As the kids phased out of naps, Karissa and I began taking turns. Maybe it's just us (and that's fine if it is), but a weekly nap on our Sabbath seems to be one of our highest joys. We truly feel refreshed and ready to hit the rest of the week on the back of some extra sleep.
Put away our phones
One of the hardest things we do is put away our phones. It's hard because I am usually too attached to my phone during the week. It takes too much of my attention, and it is too easy of an emotional "out" when I am stressed, bored, or frustrated. I do my best to either turn it off, place it in an entirely different room, or turn it on silent. I often find, in those moments of stress or boredom, something in me saying, "Go check socials or read ESPN," and I remind myself to pause and release that compulsive thought to God. Sometimes, I give in and run to find my phone. Sabbath often shows me places of inner slavery and repeated sin habits. Rather than being afraid of those things, I know it's worth confessing them, owning them, and continuing to know that my wife and kids appreciate my presence, and on Sabbath, getting rid of the phone is a huge win.
Family Worship
Finally, we usually end our Saturday night with a time of worship with music. We will often watch YouTube videos and sing together. Sometimes, we pull out instruments and play and sing. Sometimes, we read a psalm or pull out markers and draw. It's a treasured time to love Jesus and engage our creative side together.
Ok, so none of those practices are "ordained" by God per se, but we have found over time, with lots of trials, that these are a few life-giving aspects of a quality sabbath for us.
More importantly, can you begin to dream of what might be joyful for you on Sabbath?
Can you think of some things you might need to refrain from in order to experience Sabbath?
As we land the plane, I want to suggest a few simple steps to take.
Next Steps:
If Sabbath hasn't been something you've engaged much of, it might be best to engage a teaching or two around the practice. I'd highly recommend John Mark Comber's work either through his book "The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry" or one of his previous teachings on Sabbath at a church he used to pastor.
Check out our practical "Designing Sabbath Guide" to pray and plan out what a Sabbath might look like for your family. The questions and exercises found there will help to overcome some barriers and give space for great conversation as parents to then begin implementing with the family.