Spiritual Conversations

MOVING FROM CASUAL TO MEANINGFUL TO SPIRITUAL CONVERSATIONS

Starting conversations: Take initiative

• Try to engage in places and environments that are casual and normal.

• Here we have no agenda besides getting to know that person and finding ways to love and recognize them.

Casual conversations: Continuation

• We are trying to truly know what makes this person tick and where we can best love them.

• These types of conversations can last weeks to months of engaging and consistently being intentional.

• A good place to start with new friends is to investigate their passions through the FROG questions:

  • Friends and family – Tell me about your family, what’s home like

  • Recreation – What do you do for fun? What do you do for leisure?

  • Occupation – Do you work outside the home? What do you do for your job? Do you like it?

  • Goals and gifts – What are your big goals in life right now? What are you good at? What are you passionate about?

Meaningful conversations: Get curious and ask questions

• Typically meaningful conversation come out of relationships that have been developed over time.

• Become an amazing listener and question-asker. If you want to genuinely help people, you need to take a genuine interest in them.

• Look for two primary points: passion points and pain points.

  • While these may be sensitive topics (just like a pressure point in your body), most people generally want to share with others their passion and their pain with people they trust

• Oftentimes, casual conversations turn meaningful by asking great questions. The following are some examples:

  • Politics: “I hate (name of current president).”

    • Tell me more about why you hate them?

    • Do your parents or spouse feel the same way?

    • Do you feel like a president will ever truly be loved or accepted by everyone?

  • Anxiety

    • What gives you anxiety? / What do you do with that anxiety?

    • Do you ever share with others about that anxiety?

  • Social Justice:

    • What makes you passionate about that?

    • How do you directly help the issue?

  • Future:

    • If you could do anything else besides go to a college in the next year what would you do?

    • Do you ever feel like there is more to life than money and getting a job?

Spiritual conversations: Invite God into the conversation

• Spiritual conversations naturally flow out of meaningful ones (or from good questions).

• We are always looking for opportunities to offer to pray for them or their family (whenever it seems most appropriate). Most people openly welcome prayer and it just requires us to step out and ask.

• Ask a question that links the discussion to something spiritual in nature. For example:

  • Are you a spiritual person?

  • What’s your spiritual background?

  • What’s your experience been with Jesus, Christianity or the Church?

  • Do you have a story or have you had a spiritual experience?

  • Has spirituality had an impact on your passions?

  • Has God ever shown up in your challenging or painful situation?

• Be willing to share your own life and story about how God has changed you and moved in your own personal life or an experience that God used to teach you something. 

• If there is an open door, be prepared to utilize one of your 15 second stories that may apply to the life situation they are experiencing and how God redeemed you through that.

  • 15 Second Stories Tool (below) 

  • More and more people are not asking the question of whether or not God is real. Rather, they are asking the question about whether he actually works today. 

  • The goal is not to share a quick story so you can say you “shared the gospel.” The goal is to recognize how God has worked in our lives and be able to share that when appropriate to bring hope in the midst of pain or darkness. 

INVITATION TO DISCOVER: MAKE THE ASK 

If a person shows signs of interest in spiritual topics, ask them if they would like to explore what the Bible says about these topics sometime. 

• Have you ever read much or any of the Bible before? 

• I have understood and experienced God in big ways through the Bible – would you be interested in getting together and discovering God through the Bible sometime? 

• If they say yes:

  • In that moment, try to find a day, time, and location that works for both of you. 

  • Ask them if they have any other friends who may be interested in joining. 

• If they say no:

  • Be understanding and just let them know the option is always on the table and no pressure at all. 

  • Try your best to continue on in conversation towards something else so that it doesn’t feel like you had an agenda. You do not want someone to feel like their “no” ended your relationship. 

  • Relationships are the focus NOT decisions. Continue to pursue them as their real, authentic friend. Love them for exactly who they are and and where the are on the journey.

SPIRITUAL CONVERSATIONS: PRACTICE 

Asking questions around the FROG acronym 

Using the FROG acronym, write out one casual question and one meaningful/spiritual question you could potentially ask someone around each topic. 

• Friends and family

• Recreation

• Occupation

• Goals and gifts 

Example: Friends and family 

• Casual: Tell me about your family? What’s home like? 

• Meaningful/Spiritual: Was your family involved in church or religion while you were growing up?

15 Second Stories

Practice telling 15-second stories using this framework:

• There was a time when... (what life was like before knowing God or before he redeemed a specific part of your story) 

• Then God ... (how God changed the hurt/pain/struggle/confusion etc.) 

• Now ... (how God redeemed you and your story in a specific way and what that means for your life today)