Hurt

Each Tuesday, we invite you to pray for our city or yourself in different ways. Each Tuesday, we invite you to fast for our city, to do without something you depend on so you can foster a dependency on Jesus. Our hope is to form a greater attachment to Jesus so that we can speak as he spoke when he said in John 5, “I only do what I see my Father doing.” How could Jesus say this? He spent intentional time in prayer and fasting.

Introduction:

Scripture is full of language about feelings. The Biblical writers often are very in touch with who they are and comfortable expressing their emotions to their audience or to God. Many of the Psalms are of David speaking to God about his feelings. He is so relationally secure that he is unafraid to tell God exactly how he feels. This is certainly true of Jesus. Whether He is at the tomb of His close friend Lazarus, looking over Jerusalem weeping for the city, or on the cross crying out in fear that His Father has forsaken Him, Jesus understands and communicates His feelings. In a few of our prayer guides this year, we will explore some of our emotions. The more proficient we become in recognizing what we are feeling and speaking the truth about that to our Father, the more proficient we will be in attaching to Him and others.

Movement 1: Recognizing Hurt and Resentment

Read:

O God, whom I praise,
don’t stand silent and aloof

while the wicked slander me and tell lies about me.

They surround me with hateful words and fight against me for no reason.

I love them, but they try to destroy me with accusations even as I am praying for them!

They repay evil for good, and hatred for my love.
-Psalm 109:1-5

Reflect:

David feels hurt. He is not holding anything back in his psalm here. We have often been so trained to see God as separate and beyond us, that we are afraid to speak to Him with the familiarity and trust that David does. He’s not afraid to say, “Speak up for me! I’m being hurt by these people! I am in pain! He takes time to detail what is happening and he does not hide or ignore the pain that people have caused him.

We have also, often, been told to ignore our pain, let it toughen us up, or to just get over it. David details it and puts it all on the table. When we are unwilling to speak truthfully about being hurt as David did, we miss the healing we can receive. Furthermore, we can end up building resentment. Resentments will most certainly prevent healing and healthy relational attachments.

Consider:

Spend a few moments in silence and ask yourself these questions, “Do I feel hurt? Am I hiding from a wound, or pretending that something did not happen
to me?” Perhaps, the wound that comes to mind is not recent, but something that happened weeks or even years ago, but you never acknowledged the depth of your hurt.

Sometimes it is easier to ask a different question first, “Am I currently holding resentments or a grudge against someone?” If so, “What led to this?”

Respond:

Grab a journal or open a new document and try to write a few lines that might reflect David’s Psalm here. You don’t have to write something that will last a thousand years. Just use your own language to help you honestly communicate your hurt. No one will read what you write unless you show them, so feel free to say whatever helps you get it all out. Remember that David was willing to tell God to not stand silent and aloof.

Movement 2: Inviting the Father to Attend to Us

Read:

But deal well with me, O Sovereign Lord, for the sake of your own reputation!

Rescue me
because you are so faithful and good.

For I am poor and needy,
and my heart is full of pain.

I am fading like a shadow at dusk; I am brushed off like a locust. My knees are weak from fasting,

and I am skin and bones.
I am a joke to people everywhere;

when they see me, they shake their heads in scorn. Help me, O Lord my God!

Save me because of your unfailing love. Let them see that this is your doing,

that you yourself have done it, Lord.
-Psalm 109:21-27

Reflect:

David has told the truth about what he was feeling. In fact, he goes on a bit of a tirade between verses 5 and 21. His emotions are out in the open, he does not bury them and does not allow them to fester. In verse 21, however, he makes a shift. He turns to the only one that can meet him in his pain and attend to him in the right way. He says, “Help me.” David recognizes his neediness and woundedness. He is not attempting to heal himself, but wants God to, “Let them know that it is your hand, that you, Lord, have done it.” David wants to be with God and cultivate the intimacy he knows can be found in that relationship.

Respond:

Continue in your journal entry or the document you started and try to write a few lines that might reflect David’s Psalm here. You don’t have to write something that will last a thousand years. Just use your own language to help you honestly communicate an invitation for God to join you in your pain. No one will read what you write unless you show them, so feel free to say whatever helps you get it all out. Describe your neediness.

Movement 3: A Move to Reconciliation

Read:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
-Romans 12:17 – 21

Reflect:

If we do not tell the truth about our hurt, we will build resentments and possibly seek revenge. We have been made agents of reconciliation, not agents of revenge. If we do not tell the truth about where we have hurt others, we miss the beauty and joy of healthy relationships. When you read, “as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone,” are there any relationships that come to mind where peace is not present? Is there an apology that you can extend today, or a conversation you can have to begin a journey of healing?

Respond:

Take a few moments and pray for your own healing. Continue to ask God to be with you in your hurt. Ask Him to let you know if this is the moment to take a step toward healing with another person. If you recognize that your heart needs more time to feel the hurt and understand it, ask Him to reveal a trusted counselor with whom you can process your feelings. Write down any clear steps you can take today to feel your hurt, communicate with others, and/or move toward healing. Ask God to be with you in these steps and to give you boldness in your obedience to Him.

*Adapted from “The Voice of the Heart Bible Study” by
Jeff Shulte and Phil Herndon (2019, Tin Man Ministries). To explore the emotion of hurt further, this is a great resource, along with The Voice of the Heart by Chip Dodd.