Forming Simple Habits in the Ordinary Rhythms of Life
“Ordinary” is an honored word in KC Underground circles. Mission, disciple-making, and spiritual family authentically exist in the ordinary places of life.
It can be easy to forget that the same concept is true within our own households as we think about what it means to disciple our kids.
The old saying, “More is caught than taught,” is a highly relevant adage for raising Godly children. Although that idea can be terrifying (as our kids get a first-row seat to our brokenness), it can also be liberating!
Even though we celebrate those seemingly extra Holy families who do 45-minute family devotionals every night and memorize Romans 3 at dinner time, the rest of us normal parents are just trying to hold on and do our best not to powerbomb our kids at bedtime after they refuse to brush their teeth (for the eleventh time!). For those of you in the second category who are overwhelmed by trying to add ultra-sacred and heavy family practices, remember this truth: something is better than nothing.
The key is to start small and integrate simple practices into your already-existing schedules.
Justin Whitmel Early, in his book, “Habits of the Household,” writes:
“...the greatest spiritual work happens in the normal moments of domestic life.”
He reiterates that it is in the ordinary spaces, within the ordinary rhythms of our daily schedules, where the most significant discipleship of our kids happens. Just as “church” is not something done in a building led by professionals, “discipleship” is not a program divorced from the day-to-day.
When it comes to discipling our kids, we encourage you not to suddenly implement the heaviest, most religious practices you can think of (even though memorizing Romans at dinner is cool and all….), but instead, think about how you can bring simple and intentional rhythms into your already existing schedules. As Early writes, practices like this begin to form a sort of ordinary liturgy that has lasting power. Over time, these simple practices help form foundational spiritual pillars for our kids.
Although there are countless examples of these simple practices, below are three rhythms to get you started:
THE PRAYER STOPLIGHT
One thing I do every day is take my kids to school. On every drive, we pass through the same stoplight. A few years back, we decided to start a new family practice. Every morning, as we get to that stoplight, we stop and pray. Over time, my kids dubbed this light “The Prayer Stoplight.” The prayer isn’t long, but each morning, as we arrive at the light, I pray a quick blessing over our kids, that they would know how much Jesus loves them, that God would protect them, and that the Lord would bless them as they bless others. This practice has been simple, consistent, and easy to implement.
GRATITUDE JAR
I wish I could say this came out of a happy state of mind, but truth be told, it was in response to our kids acting like entitled monsters (whom l love, of course). So, my wife implemented a new practice: the Gratitude Jar. Each night at dinner, we go around the table and answer, “What was great today that we can thank God for?” One of the kids writes everyone’s answers on a slip of paper, and then we put it in a jar on our table. At the end of the year, we empty the jar and spend time laughing and remembering the silly answers we gave. This simple practice has cultivated a thankful posture in our family.
“BLESS 5” BEDTIME PRAYERS
Perhaps the biggest swing-for-the-fences practice we started last year was our BLESS 5 family prayer time. Utilizing this simple prayer tool of the Underground with our kids, we hope to build a culture in our household in which we pray for friends who don’t yet know Jesus. How it works: each week, our kids create a list of 5 friends on a chalkboard that sits by their beds. After reading our story at bedtime, each kid chooses one friend to pray for and bless. Although it’s simple, this quick prayer practice has become a holy rhythm of our family.
More about BLESS 5
The best disciple-making happens in the everyday places of life. The same is true regarding our first mission field: our households. Parents, give yourself grace, and don’t overwhelm yourself by implementing heavy and aspirational religious practices. Start small and embrace the beauty of simple habits in the ordinary rhythms of life.